Kathy
Posted on September 14, 2007 by mogrifyWe learned today at work that our policy division director, Kathy Frahm, has died. She was my boss's boss, and worked right down the hall from me.
I didn't know Kathy well, and so I'm completely unqualified to write a proper tribute. That is my fault; I don't socialize as much at work as I ought to. But I can say that Kathy had remarkable warmth and dedication, and that I always enjoyed working with her when the opportunity arose. She was well loved at DEQ, and she will be sorely missed by many, many people who knew her.
My thoughts are also with her partner, Steve Frazier, and with her parents, and all those who loved her. What they are feeling right now is something no one should ever have to feel.
I've been deeply shaken since I learned of her death; I'm struck by how sudden it seems. Just this Monday, I was posting a document for her on our website. I taught her how to create a PDF from a Word document, and she said she'd do it from now on. And now she's just gone.
It doesn't seem right that someone can simply be removed from people's lives, that this is a normal and acceptable thing to have happen. It is unfair. I find myself thinking over and over again of the times we spoke, as though I'm trying to reassure myself that she cannot, in fact, be gone; that she will certainly return, and ask me to post the agenda for the October 1st meeting of the citizen board legislation work group. I keep wondering what her plans for the weekend were, what she was reading, where she would have wanted to go on her next vacation. That so much can be so interrupted, never to be fulfilled, must surely be the greatest injustice the world can know.
Update: Kathy's obituary in the Roanoke Times.
Another update: The Richmond memorial service will be at 1pm on Thursday, September 20, at Second Presbyterian Church at 5th and Main.
And an invitation: I know that people are finding this post as they look for information. I didn't expect that, but I welcome it. If you worked with Kathy, or knew her, please feel free to comment here. I know I would enjoy hearing more about Kathy from people that knew her better. Thank you.
Yet another update: The Richmond Times-Dispatch has an article about Kathy.
September 16th, 2007 at 10:57 am
Seems like a very nicely written tribute to me. Thx for sharing a bit of info about Kathy's character. Sounds like she was a nice person to know and work with.
September 16th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
The Friday evening of September 14 will become one of the most memorable of my life. That's when a friend of mine called soon after I arrived home from work with the stunning news of Kathy's passing. Only one week before, I had what turned out to be my last playful little conversation with her. Over what had to be at least fifteen years of her service to the Department of Environmental Quality, we had many of them.
Our relationship was mostly professional, but our many dialogues were often interrupted with whimsical digressions that took on lives of their own: like where we liked to take vacations, our favorite foods and movies. In one of our phone conversations there was one moment in particular I'll never forget. While I think we were discussing some boring subject like environmental permit fees I tried being a little silly and made a comment that came out in a way that was completely unintended. While it could have landed me in trouble despite my multiple apologies, it was met with a spontaneous roar of laughter that, to this day, still rings in my ear.
That was Kathy: the ready loud laugh, the approachability, her courtesy, and the respect she had for the responsibility of everyone around her to do their job whether they we working in concert with her work-related objectives or not. There was one other thing about Kathy. In all my dealings with professionals in state government I don't think I saw anyone, regardless of the issue, with as much consistent determination to work out differences among competing stakeholders. And whether the matter related to water supply, solid waste, or something else, she seemed to accomplish an awful lot while still managing to be pleasant and friendly, quite a feat in itself.
All of us who had the pleasure of working with Kathy, and getting to know her since she first went to work at the Department of Environmental Quality will sorely miss her and pray for her family and loved ones. We will be enriched by always having some part of her with us as our lives continue.
Kathy: thank you for being such a pleasure to work with and a great person to know. We will all miss you. Your loud laughter is still ringing in my ears. It always will.
September 16th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Larry, thank you for your wonderful comments. I remember her laugh as well; working nearby as I did, I heard it often! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here with me.
September 18th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I knew Kathy since she was 2 — she is my sister's age. We grew up together, until Kathy's sister and I both went to college. I have to admit I lost touch with Kathy since then, but have stayed in touch with her parents and her sister, Lorinda. All the things I am reading about Kathy are wonderful — I can't believe what a powerhouse she grew into! She was always timid and had her nose in a book when we were growing up! Not much for the bike rides we used to make her take to the pool and to school! My mom used to harass her and call her Kathleen, which was NOT her name!!
Whoda thunk the little bookworm would have such a ginormous impact on so many people and affect so many people's lives the way she did! You go, girl!!
Kathy, you are a treasure and will be missed tremendously. Love you.
September 18th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Likewise as so many others, I'm still in shock. I never knew Kathy personally, but interacted with her and her agency from afar. Her knowledge and capability will be sorely missed within Virginia and her passion for being fair and balanced was a rare quality. She touched many directly and indirectly with her warm smile and interest in listening to all who approached her. She was a visionary! May all of us find comfort in that we were all blessed by having worked with her and may we all carry forward her compassion for making Virginia's environment a better place.
September 21st, 2007 at 8:19 pm
I did not know the "work" Kathy. I knew her at play, in the off hours from work, out on the shooting range and under a completely different name, that name being "High Heeled Hannah". (In our cowboy shooting group, everyone has an alias and that's how we call each other. It was a long time before I knew her first name was Kathy.) It's also been a long time since I've seen "Hannah" as her and "Culloden" (aka, Steve) quit shooting when they started re-flooring their house. We have run into Steve often at the local gun shows, but haven't seen Kathy. Last month, I emailed "Hannah" and did a little remembering back to the first time I met her and "Culloden" on the shooting range as it was the first time I had met my future husband also! I told "Hannah" that we had, after five years of dating, tied the knot on July 7th. She wished us well and said that as soon as the weather was cooler, they would be back shooting with us!! I was so happy to hear that! You see "Hannah" had played cupid between the two of us ever-so-slightly and it gave me the nudge I needed to ask him for a date and we have been inseparable ever since! My husband loved to tease Hannah and make her laugh and she took it in the good nature in which he intended it,and thus they became friends. She was very much a lady and brought her grace and charm to the shooting range. All the cowboys/gals loved her and have missed having her around. Did I mention she also brought her competitiveness to the range? Word has it that she could out-shoot "Culloden"!! ha! It has been truly wonderful to hear how instrumental "Hannah" has been at the DEQ. She has left a beautiful legacy that makes folks smile when her name is mentioned. She was a remarkable woman and no one knows that more than Steve. I wish there was some way our words could help ease his pain, but I think that only time will be able to heal that hurt. I thank the Lord for allowing me the opportunity to know such a wonderful lady! Hopefully all her colleagues have learned from her and will use some of her grace and uncanny problem-solving skills as they try to move forward without her to guide them. We love you "Hannah"! Shoot Straight!