The article's teaser paragraph:

…the classical music critics of The New York Times find themselves in a confessional mood and have decided to reveal some of their secret musical passions: works and performances they listen to for sheer pleasure — but perhaps not loudly when neighbors are around to hear.

Wow, I thought. Juicy. These forbidden pleasures are further described as "trivial," "scorned," and not at all "high-minded." Cool… so which one of the New York Times classical critics is going to come out as a Black Eyed Peas fan? Well, no such luck.

So which artists and pieces are the subject of these shameful confessions? Prepare to be scandalized:

• Pop orchestral composer Leroy Anderson (want to make something of it?)
• Composer and pianist Federico Mompou (a fatal attraction!)
• Thomas Beecham's version of Handel's Messiah
• Vladimir Horowitz performing Scarlatti (cringeworthy!)
• Violinist Mischa Elman (manipulative!)
• German soprano Simone Kermes (sinful!)
• Otto Klemperer's version of Bach's St. Matthew Passion (perverse!)
• von Karajan's version of Mozart's Requiem (politically incorrect!)

I know, right? I mean, when Mengelberg conducted Mahler he was, like, totally not following the score at all! If I overheard that coming out of Allan Kozinn's window, I would certainly dictate a very indignant letter to the editorial board of the Times. I assure you that it would be extremely strongly worded.

Oh well. Still, I'll bet you anything that one of those critics rolls out Foreigner or something now and again. You know, when nobody's around to hear.